Rigor Samsa

But with every inch it moves, it is reminded of its brokenness. It needs something something that it thought it would never need that it thought did not exist but it does, it really does. It thirsts for it. It yearns for it. It clamors for it. But that one thing has become so elusive. It went away to a place farther than the dark lair deeper than the abyss. Can’t be reached-- Well maybe It doesn’t want to be reached.

Sometimes the universe makes me believe that we are our most beautiful selves when we are at our saddest. To be vulnerable, to admit that vulnerability  to show the truest part of ourselves to show the deepest part of ourselves the part so hurt and broken and yet innocent so pure. This purity, having been hidden for the longest time is now here right on front of us, speaking to us so clear, so real so immaculate so sacred.

Can you tell me How come we have become so obsessed  with the idea that we are  inadequate ? And so we need to be filled we need to be completed. We hunger for parts that we believe will complete us. “I need you, you complete me.” And yet at the same time  ironically, absurdly, defending to the ends of our wits  that we do not need such things that we are fine by ourselves Deny, deny, deny. “I don’t need you.” "I don't need anyone." Can you tell me?

Sa panahon ng lubos na hindi-kasiguraduhan, manatili sana tayo sa pagtataya at pagmamahal. Anumang mangyari, sa huli, ang paanyaya pa rin ay ang na patuloy tayong magmahal. ---------- Mangyari Lamang by Rico Abelardo Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nagmahal nang makita ng lahat ang mukha ng pag- ibig. Ipamalas ang tamis ng malalim na pagkakaunawaan sa mga malabo ang paningin. Mangyari lamang ay tumayo rin ang mga nagmahal at nasawi nang makita ng lahat ang mga sugat ng isang bayani. Ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan habang ipinagbubunyi ang walang katulad na kagitingan ng isang nagtaya. Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nangangambang magmahal nang makita ng lahat ang kilos ng isang bata. Ipamalas ang katapatan ng damdamin na pilit ikinukubli ng pusong lumaki sa mga engkanto at diwata. Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nagmahal, minahal at iniwan ngunit handa pa ring magmahal nang makita ng lahat ang yaman ng karanasan. Ipamalas ang katotohanang nasaksihan nang maging makahuluga...

I think it’s about allowing the no’s to ripen into yes’s – maybe’s into yes’s; and not in the least hesitate, because the truth is we’re never really ready anyway. I think it’s about still choosing to move forward, even if the next steps are still quite blurry, even if you are still unsure even it’s scary, even if it’s unfamiliar; Just say yes again, just try again - but keep the memory of the journey with you. Because perhaps, at the end of it all, the lesson is just to not forget - to always always not forget.