Rigor Samsa

Your Good nights that say it's okay In the most low-key lovingly way. Good nights that say it's okay Because tomorrow will be better And you'll figure things out. Good nights that are not rushed. Good nights that don't rush you. Good nights that calm you down. Good nights that keep you rested. Good nights that make you feel safe--- Good nights that make you happy. Good nights that make you hope, again.

I should be reading and studying for my job exam and interview tomorrow (HUHU PLS PRAY FOR ME THIS IS MY DREAM) but I came across this wonderful poem again I have HAVE to post it. Hehe. Greater than 9.8 m/s 2 by Jason Leo Asistores I confess. I've spent more than your average number of nights sitting by the window, throwing my sight as far as I can, with foolish hopes of my vision, somehow, circling the globe along that singular arc that connects you and me in the shortest possible distance across this spinning sphere in space, conjuring up the means to see you from thousands of miles away. After all, I figured, gravity bends light. And as far as I know, this force that pulls the yearning tides rushing through my veins, this thirst to drink the oceans in your embrace bears upon my shoulders like a hundred giant moons, and pulls me heavily to the center of the earth. Is this not gravity? When inside, my blood rushes up in waves towards your body in the sky...

Unearthed from the abyss of many many feelings during -The Dark Times. Daming feelings ate My body is a puzzle many have attempted to piece fragments together. Yes, I allowed them to. Even you. We played the game. Many tries. Different rules. Changing characters. And yet, all those times, I lost. I was left still a puzzle: Incomplete. Broken. Damaged. Bruised. Hollow. I was a fool to believe you they had the perfect pieces to fit My awkward-fitting cuts My stone cold curves My impossible patterns. Pieces that fit. Pieces that hug. Pieces that make you feel whole Pieces that make you feel alive Pieces that make you feel enough. Hugs that keep you warm. Awake. Safe. No. Not you. Not anyone. Not even me.

I was a Bel-cheesecake who underwent a hundred days of constant breaking down by a bazillion of enzymes, went through a gazillion of glycolysis, decarboxylations, and hydroxylations. Brought down to the very last pyruvate and underwent 500 million more Krebb’s cycles to be the Acetyl CoA that I am now.  Post-boards Bel. Post-boards Acetyl-CoA . I know that the results are not out yet but going through all that, I just really feel like a goddamn Acetyl CoA now. The Boards journey was cathartic on so many levels and I would like to share it with you because I am a millenial who likes over-sharing things. Also, I’ll write this sort of Boards narrative using the outline of our reviewers so it would be more  painful to read  relatable. Watch out for the must knows, caveat and rules, and maybe a review question out there.  You’ve been warned. Must Know no. 1: No matter how well you plan things, the universe will not always agree with you. Unexpected...

Hi I'm back! Medical school is done. The Boards is done. I finally have time, the realest of the realsies, for this. I hope to post more things here soon. Also, because i'll be deleting my facebook soon so I'll use this instead for my millenial tendencies to overshare things. Or not. Haha ok bye.